Kelas Yang Lucu | Kids Are Quick

8:13 PM Ruzend Mohamad 0 Comments


TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
______________________________________ ____

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
_________________________________
TEACHER : George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

0 comments:

Teka-teki Guru Yang Berbaur Lucah

6:18 PM Ruzend Mohamad 0 Comments



Maaflah yer jika Nick cuma masukkan entry versi english sahaja okie. Agar tak lari dari makna asal. Yang mana kurang faham tu, gunalah Google translate k.

A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third -grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

The teacher had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. The teacher agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9".

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the third-grade."

The teacher says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?"

The principal and Harry both agree.

The teacher asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"

Harry, after a moment, "Legs."

Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!

Harry replied, "Pockets."

Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants"

Teacher: What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Harry: Coconut

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry was taking charge.

Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?

Harry: Bubblegum

Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.

Harry: Shake hands

Teacher: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?

Harry: Yep.

Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.

Harry: Tent

Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.

Principal was looking restless and bit tense.

Harry: Wedding Ring

Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.

Harry: Nose

Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

Harry: Arrow

Teacher: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of excitement?

Harry: Firetruck

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I missed the last ten questions myself."

0 comments:

Oh Their English! Funny!

9:57 PM Ruzend Mohamad 0 Comments



There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple or pine in pineapple. And while no one knows what is in a hotdog, you can be pretty sure it isn't canine.
English muffins were not invented in England nor French fries in France.

Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't 

sweet, are meat.


We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, two meese?
Is cheese the plural of choose? One mouse, 2 mice. One louse, 2 lice. One house, 2 hice?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Why do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?
Ship by truck or car and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

How can the weather be hot as heck one day and cold as heck another?
When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on. You get in and out of a car, yet you get on and off a bus. When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?

English is a silly language ... it doesn't know if it is coming or going!!!

0 comments:

Over Night de' iCity

3:13 PM Ruzend Mohamad 0 Comments

Sapa yang tak perasan Feris Wheel kat iCity uh? Nak naik RM10 k. Kalu tak silaplah. Tak termasuk gambar 6R(RM35) yang diorang cuci semasa kita turun natang tuh.
Sedangkan parking kereta pun RM10. Paling mahal di Malaysia wat masa ni aku kena. hahaha
**tapi kalu parking tepi jalan free jah!
Ermmmmmm.....
Nak tangkap gambar bokeh kejap. Lama tak pegang DSLR ni.
Species bunga apa ntah, buah Cherry?
Lampu terbaru, Bunga Matahari
Kuda yang dok pusing-pusing ni tak dikhaskan utk budak-budak kecik okie. Orang tua pon boleh naik. RM5 jer per person



Kenapa kosong? Sebab kami dua ja yang naik! hahahaha

0 comments:

Outing To KLCC with Ruzen

2:52 AM Ruzend Mohamad 0 Comments

Last week punya gambar, baru nak update.. hew3..
Tak tau dah nak kuar ngan sapa. Hangout with my twin tak seiras ni.. Dah lewatla if nak tengor air pancut kat kolam KLCC..
Member lain nak kena propose dlu if nak ajak kluar..

Semua ni berkumpul just nak tengok air pancutla ni.. hahaha..
Nak suruh pose as calon model celebrity fitness
Mampu tangkap dari bawah ke atas ja. Kalu atas ke bawah kena buat duckface.


0 comments:

Untuk Dia

7:18 PM Ruzend Mohamad 0 Comments



[Sleeq]
Kuatkan radio, kuatkan radio anda
Kuatkan radio, kuatkan radio
Aku yang patut, yang patut
Memberinya segala
Kerna aku mampu
Ya aku mampu
Melakukan apa-apa saja
Untuk dia (hey) Untuk dia (hey) Untuk dia (hey)
Untuk dia (hey) Untuk dia (hey) Untuk dia (hey)
Untuk dia (hey) Untuk dia (hey) Untuk dia (hey)
Dia penuh gaya, semuapun nak bayar
Memang selalu belanja
Mungkin anak orang kaya
Kadang kala pabila
Dia ke Singapura
Tak duduk rumah saudara
Dia inginkan Shangrila
Bertemu di Facebook
Beberapa hari kemudian
Mungkin gua comel kot
Ajak ku jumpanya di KL, Ooh KL
Oh lupa bilang gadis ni KL
Tak cakap kosong dia memang begini
Akhirnya dapat tahu dia punyai lelaki
Lelakinya pula kan bawa Mercedez
Apa saja dia minta dia memberi tetapi
Aku yang patut, yang patut
Memberinya segala
Kerna aku mampu, ya aku mampu
Melakukan apa-apa saja
Untuk dia (hey) Untuk dia (hey) Untuk dia (hey)
Untuk dia (hey) Untuk dia (hey) Untuk dia (hey)
Untuk dia (hey) Untuk dia (hey) Untuk dia (hey)
[Najwa Latif]
Engkau Punya Gaya
Walaupun tak kaya
Bukan paras rupa yang aku pandang sahaja
Mungkin kau lihat ku
Ku banyak berbelanja
Tapi sebenarnya ku biasa-biasa saja
Bertemu di MukaBuku
Ku jatuh hati padamu
Bukan tak nak mengaku
Tapi hati rasa malu
Senyum mu menawan menawan
Kau buat hatiku tertawan
Ada sesuatu yang kau perlu tahu
Tentang diri aku dengan lelaki itu
Meski dia bisa beriku apa sahaja
Tapi itu semua tidak boleh beri bahagia (bahagia)
Itu bukan segalanya
[Sleeq]
Aku yang patut, yang patut
Memberinya segala
Kerna aku mampu
Ya aku mampu
Melakukan apa-apa saja
Untuk dia (hey) Untuk dia (hey) Untuk dia (hey)
Untuk dia (hey) Untuk dia (hey) Untuk dia (hey)
Untuk dia (hey) Untuk dia (hey) Untuk dia (hey)
[Najwa Latif]
Jadi engkau yang patut, yang patut
Memberiku segala
Kerna engkau mampu, ya engkau mampu
Melakukan apa-apa saja
Untuk aku (okay)
Untuk aku
Untuk aku
Untuk aku (untuk kamu)
Untuk aku
Untuk aku
Untuk aku
Untuk aku

0 comments:

Jangan Ganggu Pacarku

7:06 PM Ruzend Mohamad 0 Comments



Jangan Ganggu Pacarku – Aliff Aziz

Memindai laman Facebook mu
Kadang buat ku cemburu
Baru saja engkau update
Ramai lelaki berkomen
Tak sedikit yang merayu
Tapi ku percaya kamu
Kau juga yakinkan aku
Tetap saja aku ingin bicara
Chorus
Berhentilah rayu pacarku
Bawa pergi pesonamu
Takkan cukup kata-kata manismu
Gambar-gambar seksimu
Tagging-tagging flirting-flirting baginya
Berhentilah ganggu pacarku
Jangan pernah main hati
Takkan cukup email-email indahmu
Status-status palsumu
Liking-liking poking-poking baginya
Bukan hanya itu
Kerna ku tahu
Dia hanya cinta caraku mencintainya
[Ulang chorus 2x]
Berhentilah ganggu pacarku
Jangan pernah main hati
Takkan cukup email-email indahmu
Status-status palsumu
Liking-liking poking-poking baginya

0 comments:

Muara Hati - Chord

6:50 PM Ruzend Mohamad 0 Comments


Hafiz & Dato Siti - Muara Hati (OST Adam Dan Hawa) Chord

Am G F C Dm C Bb E

Am Dm
Cinta terpisah ruang waktu
G C E
Tetap cinta bersatu dalam hatiku
Am Dm
Walau raga kita tak mungkin bersama
F Bdim7 E F E
Ku yakini hati dan tetap setia

Am Dm
Ku percaya ke mana pun kau berjalan
G C E
Suara cinta menuntun mu kepada ku
Am Dm
Kerna bila cinta sudah bersenandung
F E
Takkan terpisah hati

Am Dm G C
Demi cinta dalam hatimu
F Dm E
Ku yakin engkau untukku
Am Dm G C
Meski jejak pisahkan kita
F Dm E (Am G F C Dm C Bb E)
Cinta kan bawa kembali... padamu

Dm Am
Aku ada kerna engkau ada
Bdim7 E
Tercipta hatiku hanyalah untukmu

Dm Am
Jalanku berhujung padamu
Bdim7 E
Kemanapun kan pasti kembali o..

Am Dm G C
Demi cinta dalam hatimu
F Dm E
Ku yakin engkau untukku
Am Dm G C
Meski jejak pisahkan kita
F Dm E
Cinta kan bawa kembali...

Am Dm G C
Demi cinta dalam hatimu
F Dm E
Biarkan aku merasa
Am Dm G C
Sesuatu dalam hatimu
F Dm E
Hanya dirimu dan aku
Am Dm G C
Demi cinta dalam hatimu...
F Dm E
biarkan aku merasuk dalam hati cinta..

0 comments:

Tone Adjustment

9:00 PM Ruzend Mohamad 0 Comments

Tone Adjustment by using Adobe Photoshop
Nick buat editing gambar semua tak guna langsung editing yang melampau, cuma buat adjustment yang sesuai ja.
Model in Mr Sunway competition, Heydar.

Photographer Nick
DSLR Canon 500D 50mm f1.8



0 comments:

Iftar di MidValley

10:13 PM Ruzend Mohamad 0 Comments

Teringat balik berbuka posa at Mid Valley bulan lepas.. Hu3..










0 comments:

Majlis Nikah & Resepsi Kahwin Rosman & Farhana

9:57 PM Ruzend Mohamad 0 Comments

Ni majlis pernikahan abang Nik yang bertempat di kediaman pengantin perempuan di Perlis.
Nik tak dapat hadir majlis kahwin ni disebabkan keadaan yang tak mengizinkan. I only can do image editing ja. So siapa yg pegang DSLR ni, dialah photographernya.









Selamat Pengantin Baru
Semoga Berkekalan hingga ke anak cucu.

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